Another Fabricated Self-Portrait

Today I participated in The Big Chill which is a 5k race at Rutgers and donates toys to a charity for the holidays.  It was actually really awesome. I ran with one of my Brothers and we finished in 38:48.  On another note, last night I went to see the OrphanSporks and Deep Treble which are a cappella groups. It just made me realize how much of a performer I really am.  The entire time I was watching them I could not sit still in my seat and I was figuring out which harmonies would be singing.  It just shows that I can never be satisfied sitting in the audience.  This also goes for band too.  This last show we did I was like… why am I just standing here? I wanna be performing! I wanna be seen in a way that I can showcase my talents! So this winter break Im definitely using that time to time to whip myself back into shape by going in the city and taking classes.  Like I said, I will not be satisfied unless I am performing in some way.  This is officially my new challenge.

So my mother is talking to me today about burial plots.  See my parents have two but we decided to give one to a family friend who had someone pass away recently.  So my mother is talking to me about how this no elaves our family in a sort of a rut.  She proceeds to say to my father “What if Danielle doesn’t get married and wants to be buried with us? She wouldnt be able to!” my father follows by saying “How dare you think of your daughter as an old maid! She will be married!” my mother responds “Well she doesnt have a boyfriend now….” and that is when I stopped listening.

GRRRR!!! I love how society just has us so molded to form to what is “supposed” to happen to everyone.  Who knows, i might not get married.  I might also get married several times.  Maybe ill have more then one husband! Regardless this conversation went bad in all kinds of ways.  The only way I could really respond was by giving a sort of nervous laugh to my mother and say, yea I understand.  Life is so awkward sometimes.